Maid of Marling

Just as Laura Marling did say
A friend is a friend forever
And a good one will never leave, never.

I don’t think you’d know if you’ve ever been south
But you grew unnerved somewhere down the grind
Of keeping face, nay just keeping faith.
Wholeheartedly feigning the best of our crimes.

Pray disparage the moments, sully them please!
But do so with all the conviction you please.
Begin a most violent uprooting of all the boldness that we planted in jest
Watered and nurtured in good light and good health
And reprocess this now to boldly go
Away from me and towards brighter days
You deserve every kindness when set in your ways.


Murk of the mind

I must break the flimsy yet non-shatter ice
Great sheet of it, between me and my mind.

Nothing works in harmony right now for me and I.
The chipped blue sheath conceals a multitude of lewd.
Of false desire, dirty desperation.
Throat red raw from swallowing back every truth that wants uttering
Brain so sore from trying to reason with every voice around me
Friend or foe. Invisible or no. Now you’re all inside me.
Having a party while I’m trying to sleep.
Perforating my lungs while I’m trying to breathe.
Cut out my fucking tongue, I don’t wish to speak.

Stomping on and piercing at
This sheet I finally impale.
I wish I could say it is nice to meet the murk
That lurks. That is my mind.
So I’m drowning for days, maybe months, even years.
Forget I cannot swim but at least I break the ice
Every few days, months or years.


Colour me true

Where once I bloomed
I now pale in solitude
Broody thoughts, no end
Mind is a blood whirlpool, red raw
Ravenous slurping of my existence, a mere shadow now
Colour me in
Colour my sins
A dreadful dark blue
That I can know them to be wicked

Paint black my world
with charcoal
From the weighty lump that burns in my chest
That I can choke on my slander

But paint me happy
When I’m with you
Golden brown like the autumn leaves
Scattering our path
Where we took our first steps to brighter days


Such conviction

Learnt the hard way
Just how much I detest a strong character
And the haste with which I completely relinquish any semblance
of me, myself and I
In one’s company,
Say goodbye.

Congruence befalls me
The booming enthrals me
I’m the dutiful whore, see?
Plain, confounded
Can’t be ambivalent to this divinely conviction,
Come strip off what’s left then of my dignity.

This spewing is utterly painful to hear
And I’ve lent the extent of my haemorrhaging ear,
To what do I owe this most jarring displeasure.


Lord, we served

We longed to sell ourselves short
Flung our good grace down the well
Seldom claimed our daily bread.

Came through like a bat out of hell
To deify you sons of bitches
Satiate your every whim boys.

We’re God’s little odd jobs, never mind
All I have gathered in this life
Is how not to be.

One day I’d like to meet myself
Let her knows whose boss
I’m sure I would not even shake her hand.